Lazy Gun

Lazy Gun (Anonymous)

I swung my front door wide open
and placed my Remington 12-gauge shotgun right in my doorway.  I left five
shells beside it, then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the
neighbor boy across the
street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down
the street, and quite a few
cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of
our house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun.  It
was still sitting there, right
where I had left it.  It hadn't moved
itself outside.

It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the
numerous opportunities it had
been presented to do so.

In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.

Well, you can imagine my surprise, with all the
media hype about how
dangerous guns are and how they kill people.

Either the media is wrong or I'm in possession of
the laziest gun in the world.

The United States is third in murders throughout the
World.

But if you take out Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC
and New Orleans, the United States is fourth from the bottom for
murders.

These four cities also have the toughest gun-control
laws in the United States. 
All four are controlled by
Democrats.

It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this
data - right?

Well, I'm off to check on my spoons - I hear they're
making people fat.