Since we are not going to get
gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this
would be a solution we could live with. This is so incredibly well put,
and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!! Whatever he
runs for, I'll vote for him!
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
Dear American liberals,
leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama
supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the
late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated
each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this
relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of
America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's
just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation
agreement:
1. Our two groups can equitably
divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be
the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective
representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such
distinct and disparate tastes.
2. We don't like redistributive
taxes, so you can keep them.
3. You are welcome to the
liberal judges and the ACLU.
4. Since you hate guns and war,
we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
5. We'll take the nasty, smelly
oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
6. You can keep Oprah, Michael
Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a
bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy
corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
8. You can have your beloved
lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies,
and illegal aliens.
9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan
hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
10. We'll keep the Bibles and
give you NBC and Hollywood ..
11. You can make nice with Iran
and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that
threaten us.
12. You can have the peace-niks
and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault,
we'll help provide them security.
13. We'll keep our
Judeo-Christian values.
14. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also
have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup
trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you
can find.
16. You can give everyone
healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..
17. We'll continue to believe
healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right. We will supply it for free only
to those unable to earn it.
18. We'll keep "The Battle
Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
19. I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to
Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
20. We'll practice trickle down
economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
21. Since it often so offends
you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
22. Would you agree to this? If
so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots
and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting,
I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.: Also, please take Ted
Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S..: And you won't have to
"Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
Forward this every time you get
it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!
** If you
can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of
them! **